Undoing the weaving and redoing it

I was born into the religion and remained a Lutheran till my early teens. I was a very active church participant. I attended all services. I taught Sunday School. I played the organ. I belonged to the choir. I spent time almost every day involved in something to do with the church. It was woven into my life. Like a big ancient tapestry. It was the tapestry of my spiritual life. But there was one loose thread. I was gay. And at some point that became an issue in my religious/cultural life experience.  I couldn’t remain a practicing Lutheran and remain an out gay person. This is back in the early 1980s. Attitudes in the church have changed since then. But I needed to pull that thread and unravel the tapestry I had created for so many years.
For quite a while I remained spiritually inactive. I was spiritually dead. But a part of me kept yearning for something of the spiritual life. I kept randomly getting books about spiritual matters. I kept talking to others about the issue. And soon enough I was exposed to alternative religions and thought.
I was drawn to the earth based religions. I took up heathenry because my family background is German. I followed this path for many years. But I needed a spirituality that was more balanced on the feminine side. Heathenry in my experience was a very masculine path. Yet Druidry was a much more balanced path to my thinking. So I started exploring that path and reweaving my spiritual tapestry. It has been a wonderful task. I became a member of OBOD. I studied the lore. I started to practice trance sessions to find out more about the other realms. In these trance sessions I encountered many of the deities of this path. I currently have a very lively relationship with the deities due to this.
I have been reweaving the tapestry of my spiritual life. It has been a wonderful experience for me. I have been able to add new threads of different colors. I have slowly been creating a new way of experiencing my life and reality. I now have a much stronger connection to my ancestors. I am much more in touch with nature as an adult. I have a strong connection to the deities. All of the multiverse is alive for me now. I am a much happier person. As with everything it is a process. But I keep weaving and creating a beautiful new tapestry of spirituality. I have found peace.

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